Thirty Helens Agree

I was on the interwebs last night and came across a classic Craigslist posting. This one really got me because I can just imagine the entire scene in my head involving one of my drunk friends. I initially thought the guy was being sincere but when he called them “cripple sticks” he sort of lost me. I’ve included the entire post below because Craigslist rolls them off every week or so:

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I stole your crutches.
Date: 2007-06-07, 6:50PM EDT

dear sir or madam:

at approximately 00:30 on thursday morning, i was with a friend walking back from a night of drunken revelry when i spotted a pair of crutches leaning against the fence by the tennis courts. you are evidently very tall, as i had to adjust these crutches before i could mockingly, drunkenly use them. i apologize for any inconvenience i caused you and would be more than happy to return your cripple sticks.

please respond at your earliest convenience. tell me what your crutches look like so i don’t give them to a cripple-poser.

Location: 10/Lombard
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 347216705

This is the most random clip I’ve seen in a long time. I’m not sure what is more disturbing.. the clip or the comments from people about how funny it is. I was more horrified than anything.

The English-to-12-Year-Old-AOLer Translator.

It turns out I am “Joe Normal”.  17% Nerd, 43% Geek, and 17% Dork.  You can find out what you are over at OKCupid.com.

Perfect:  Office Slang.

Redbull is coming out with a new drink named Cocaine.  According to Pop Sugar the makers of Redbull  ”say a high hits you within five minutes, followed by a caffeine boost 15 minutes later. But hold on—the ride lasts five hours and the concoction is “350 percent stronger than Red Bull”.  I mean, I’ll definitely try it.  But you know some kid will end up dead after drinking 50 of these and they will pull it.

I’m not really having any problems.. but AppleInsider says the update to fix problems is right around the corner.

Let’s talk about our Friday nights now..

• 4:00PM – My mother came over to watch Nolan.
• 4:15PM – We’re wondering if they are serving dinner yet at the restaurant down the street.
• 4:20PM – We are immediately seated outside with people easily twice our age.
• 5:00PM – We have “adult beverages” and Carolyn declares she can no longer drive after two.
• 5:45PM – We think about getting another drink upstairs at the bar.
• 5:46PM – We decide against that and figure we will go out for iced cream at the farm down the street.
• 6:00PM – Order two Black Rasberry Ice Creams (in a cup to avoid the mess). One has Chocolate Sprinkles (Carolyn’s).
• 6:15PM – Watch goats eat.
• 6:17PM – Decide that they would eat just about anything.
• 6:30PM – Get home.
• 7:00PM – Nolan’s bath.
• 7:15PM – Nolan eats.
• 7:45PM – Nolan goes to bed.
• 7:55PM – Carolyn and I discuss if it would be ridiculous if we just went to bed right now. At 8:00PM.
• 7:56PM – We decide that it isn’t.

Good times.

If you know me you may have realized I have a slight gadget problem.  I have this compelling need to buy the latest gadgets when something comes out that is significantly better than the one I have. It turns out that my gadget problem is a genetic disorder!  :) From now on when I buy something new it should just be considered doctor’s orders!