Recently I’ve heard people using the terms tool and doosh interchangeably for the same person. While they are very close in meaning they are distinctly different. Let me see if I can elaborate and clear this up for everyone. It would probably be easier if I described the type of person that would qualify for each one.
Tool
A tool is what I like to call “that guy”. Way too into himself, his flat top, and his Hummer H2. I picture walking by the tool, on his Nextel which was formally clipped to his leather weave belt, and talking too loudly: “Sully, sup dooood? Yuh dood, I’m gonna swing by the packy and head ova after I hit the gym. I gotta pound on my lats for a couple. Ahhite, see you lata!” Please note any of the following up the “tool quotient”: Gold chain, wrestling shoes, a sticker of Calvin pissing on anything, poor facial hair.
Doosh
A doosh is a bit more subtle and I think you run into more dooshs than you do tools. Although, that may just be the environments I tend to frequent as corporate America is packed to the brim with the doosh. A classic doosh that everyone may know is the principal on Ferris Beuller’s
Day Off. A doosh is a little harder to nail down but you always have a gut feeling that something is a little off when you are around a doosh. Tyra Banks on the Tyra Banks’ talkshow: Doosh. Tyra Banks confronting her fear of dolphins on the show: Doosh Chills (see below).
Doosh Chill
You don’t necessarily need a doosh involved in the Doosh Chill, just something dooshy has to happen. A great example of this is a newscaster using the word bling. Now, not the entertainment reporter that can sort of get away with it, the lead newscaster that clearly doesn’t even know what the word means: “Looking to add more bling to your cell phone? Ms. Entertainment coming up next with the latest accessories.” Or something just so over the top lame that it gives you that quiver: Watching the awkward wife on wifeswap go into the character of a Night Elf while trying to get the normal family into D&D. Brutal. I have lingering doosh chills from that.. hell you may have doosh chills from the thought of me watching wife swap. It is all in the name of science.I hope this clears it up.
Now go off armed with your new understanding of these wonderful adjectives!